Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Marcy's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, August 14th, 2007
10:10 pm	Tom Collins Anyone? So its been about a year since i've witten anything here, but I figure since I should be doing homework, right now seems like the best time. Nothing is really new, just different. I still have work and school going on, even though I feel like I should have a lot more accomplished by now but i guess you're going to lose a few. I've come to the conclusion that I really want to be a bartender...I think it would be good times. Other than that, there isn't really anything profound thats happened. Ex bf Chris called a few times during the summer when he was hammered drunk...so those calls were always funny. It makes me think of him as such a hypocrite because he use to give me such a hard time about wanting to go out and drink with my friends...and now he he does it like all the time. But him calling really helped me stop thinking about him altogether. Before he started calling, I would still think about him on occasion and whatnot. But after he called just shitfaced drunk and after i saw him like that (he was stranded in turlock and needed a ride) I was just like whatev about him. 95 days until my birthday. Current Mood: complacent Current Music: Daft Punk "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 14th, 2006
2:56 pm	And the Beat Goes On....Or Something... So its been awhile since I last posted anything, and I guess a lot has been going on. I've been busy with school, and I'm actually not failing any classes yet. Work still stucks and now we have cameras, which sucks even more because we have to pretend to look like we're doing stuff. Jennifer had her baby, and I'm a bad friend and have yet to see it. The trip to San Diego was fun, it was even more fun bc we all were mean to Eila. Mexico was also fun, even though the Hard Rock Cafe wouldn't let us take our nuclear weapons inside. My parents 30th wedding anniversary is in about 10 days, and I don't know what I'm suppose to get them, if anything. I can't imagine being with anyone that long, considering I couldn't even stay with Chris for more than a year. We've been broken up for about 5 months now and I still have the occasional dream or thought about him, which really sucks. I just want him out of my head because I'm pretty sure I'm out of his. What really sucks is that I haven't really found anyone to help me take my mind off him. There are some cute guys in my classes or other guys that I hang out with, but there is still something that is keeping me from being really into them. Oh well, I guess you're going to lose a few. Current Mood: Whatev Current Music: Plain White T's "Hate (I Really Don't Like You)" (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
12:04 am	Epiphanies Make Everything Better Today was the first day of school and I was actually excited about it. Being stuck with my own thoughts day in and day out was no fun so now I'm glad I have something to focus my attention on. Especially since the last couple semesters I haven't done that well, I now feel ready to get myself back on track. Back in the day I wanted to transfer to a better school UC Riverside, or go somewhere far; when I dated Chris though I knew I wanted to stay local. Now that we're not together I want to go back to having goals again. Anywho, the classes were cool since I've taking 3 of the 4 already. Its funny though my health teacher is a black guy who's a basketball coach and can't seem to control the volume of his voice. Also, he talks like Jesse Jackson. Sidenote, I hate working with all girls because it throws my cycle all out of whack. One of them just mentions that they've started their period and I'm like "dammit, I need to go to the bathroom." Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: DJ Shadow "Six Days" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 25th, 2006
12:49 pm	Yep.             chips and salsa is love brought to you by the isLove Generator (Comment on this)
12:10 pm	I Thought I Was Having a Nervous Breakdown, but It Was Just Indegestion I want to say that a lot has been going on since I last posted something, but there really hasn't been too much really. I'm still broken up with Chris and i'm not sure how I feel about it, but oh well. There's work drama like always, but i'm glad I've been gone from work for 4 days...I needed it. I think i'm ready to start looking for a new job. Granted, DQ is really kick back, since we have time to have a game where we just trip each other and keep score. I am just tired of getting crap pay for doing as much as I do there. But also I like being in charge there, and I don't know how I would like having to be told what to do again. So Chris and I have been broken up for almost 3 months now, even though it really hasn't felt that long. I still really miss him which kind of makes me mad because I didn't think i'd feel this way for so long. I text him when we were "camping" in Oakdale, and we got to talking and he let me know that he had moved on. Later on though, he had told me he had moved on because he thought I had and that he had lost faith in us getting back together. I just don't know what I want when it comes to him and I don't think I ever will. Its like, I just want to be with him and be able to hang out with friends after work and maybe even smoke hookah or something like that. Since that probably would never happen, we probably will never get back together. So it just makes me sad to talk/see him now thats why I deleted him off my myspace and deleted all the numbers out of my phone associated with him. I didn't do it out of malice, I just did it because it almost hurts to think about him. Well, maybe a little malice because he had his ex girlfriend on his page and I never really liked that beezee. I'm glad I came to S.D. for the weekend, the getaway was much needed. I kind of don't want to go back to Turlock yet, but I have to since I work wednesday...blah. I got away from everything that was bothering me and apparently I got away from the desert weather they've been having up there. The only reason I want to go back is because Chewy misses me and now he just stays in the laundry room waiting for me to come back. So my thanks to Nick for letting me live in him room for a few days, I don't think he knows how much I appreciate it. Word to Your Mother. Current Mood: blah Current Music: Gnarls Barkley "Just a Thought" (Comment on this)
Monday, May 1st, 2006
1:48 am	Chris and I broke up again. This time seemed different from all the other times somehow. Usually when we break up there is a lot of crying and anger and emotions flaring between the both of us. This time there were just sniffles and a lot of nodding, like we both knew that breaking up might actually be for the best. It just sucks because I do want to be with him, and I know he wants to be with me but I don't think we're ready to be with each other. He is stubborn about the way he thinks things should be and I'm the same way. If I feel like he is doing things to change me, then I just get bitter and throw little temper tantrums about every 15 minutes which isn't fair to anyone. It just makes me sad because I know a lot of it is that this was my first real serious relationship and I didn't really know what I was doing. So when he said things like he wanted to be with me forever it would just kind of scare me because I didn't really know if I could settle down already. For both of us, it just felt like he was trying to change me and thats not what either one of us wanted. Since day one he said that he couldn't go out with a girl that would smoke/drink; so that really was never a big deal because I knew what I was getting into. But it just sucked when he would make comments about me going online and question all the people I had on my myspace (mainly all the guys). Considering about 95% of them are people from high school I never really thought it was a big deal, but I guess it was to him. I just wish he would have known how things were back in high school because then he would know that he wouldn't have anything to worry about. So I think we might actually be broken up for awhile this time, unless we both magically grow up in the next few days. Its just depressing because in a way I feel like a failure since I couldn't be what he wanted me to be. We both knew that something had to happen tonight, either I attempt to become the person he wanted me to be i.e. someone I'm not. Or we would have to end things or else we would just end up getting into fights all the time. It just hurt when I was getting ready to leave, how he was talking like he regretted ever going out with me and how he should have gotten to know me better before ever getting together with me in the first place. I still love him and I still want to be with him, but I know its just not the right time right now. Its depressing to know that you're letting someone go who thinks you're their whole world and that you might never find that again. I just hope I don't end up kicking myself for this and tell myself that I had love and I just let it go. Humbug. Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: Percy Sledge "When a Man Loves a Woman" (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 2nd, 2006
12:41 am	Blah, I freakin hate work right now. First of all, I just got home about 20 minutes ago which really sucks bc I have to open tomorrow. Also it sucks bc our bathrooms broke so I had to mop up ass loads of water, twice. Third and most of all, I hate it when Dave talks to me like i'm stupid. I'm giving serious thought to putting in my two weeks notice sometime soon. The only thing that is really stopping me from doing it is that I don't have a back up job to fall on, and I know that I'll probably get too lazy to look for another one. Oh well, I have to give some more thought to all of that. Other than it being Michelle's birthday on the 27th, it was also chris and mine 1 yr (w/o all the breaking up) So he got me a new phone (a slvr) and I got him a tatoo which looks really cool. It took like 3ish hours for him to get, and its a tribal design on his right arm. I'm too tired to talk about anything else, and i'm going to be even more tired tomorrow because of the stupid time change. Of course the one time I actually work a morning shift the time has to go and change! Humbug! Current Mood: cranky Current Music: Zoolander...Right now Frankie Goes to Hollywood-Relax (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, March 17th, 2006
1:58 pm	I hate you guys. Current Music: Panic! at the Disco-I Write Sins Not Tragedies (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 30th, 2006
4:22 pm	So the 27th was Chris' and my 10 month anniversary, and two days after that we broke up. I'm pretty sure this time its for good because we're going to be returning stuff to each other sometime. We had been fighting for a few days and it just didn't feel the same anymore, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him but I couldn't stand being an asshole to him all the time. I wanted things to stay at least a little civil, because he was my first love and everything. But that went all downhill when he kept telling me that he hated me and how i'll never be able to find anyone to love me the way that he did. So after all that I was a sobbing mess and I stayed parked next to Shaleen's house for awhile. I managed to get ahold of Sarah and she was able to comfort me the best she could (mostly by telling funny work stories) and I really do appreciate her being there for me. The thing that really sucks is that I don't think he really ever understood how I lived before I met him. He seems to think that I was like a hardcore partier and all I wanted to do was to drink and hook up with guys. I tried to tell him that if he asked any of my friends that I could go hang out with everyone and not drink or smoke or anything like that. It also sucked because he would always say that my friends were more important to me that he was. Which is really hard to talk about because my friends were like family before I was with him, considering I never really get along with my family. The one person he never understood my friendship with was Oscar. But thats a whole other subject. Oh well, I just wish things were better. Thanks to all who have been trying to cheer me up it really means a lot to me. Current Mood: melancholy (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 27th, 2006
2:18 am	I have flowers growing in my ears. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 23rd, 2006
1:08 am	They've sheered my dog like a sheep! (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 21st, 2005
10:42 am	Feliz Naviblah Your Birthdate: November 17 You tend to find yourself lucky - both in business and in life. And while being wealthy is nice, you enjoy sharing your abundance with others. You put your luck to good use: you are very ambitious and goal oriented. Often times, you get over excited and take on more than you can manage. Your strength: Your ability to make your own luck Your weakness: Thinking you can do it all Your power color: Bronze Your power symbol: Half Moon Your power month: August What Does Your Birth Date Mean? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 17th, 2005
1:36 pm	Mappy Kwanzakah '05 I wish we had another one of those, because I remember that being good times. I talked to Oscar for a whole 5 minutes and we decided that a posse should get together when everyone gets back from school and we'll go see him at his new house. So I need to know when everyone is getting back & who would want to go. We don't have Wang anymore so that won't be a problem, maybe we'll take the box. So Chris got his braces off on monday so that was cool. And we had a good time for his birthday too. We went to a warriors/suns game and he wore the new basketball jersey that I got for him and his team actually won for once :) The End. Current Mood: okay (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 24th, 2005
10:48 pm	I'm Laughing Because I Was Reading So Well I'M FINALLY 19, WOOT SQUARED! So its been forever and a day since i've been online, but oh well i've been too busy to really notice anyway. I'm still in school, but its not like I do any home work or anything like that so i'm not even sure why I still go. Next semester doesn't seem like its going to be any easier, so I guess I have to stop playing with my balls and actually put in at least a little bit of effort. Bah. Work has been okay, i'm still a manager-in-training, which i've been since june. It really sucks too because i've basically been a manager for a few months but without the raise. This has made me decide to start looking for another job, but it just sucks bc now christmas is coming up so i'm going to need money. Oh well, its good to know that i'm not alone when it comes to leaving the DQ Lounge, i think 4 or 5 other people are also thinking about it too. Oh, speaking of people from work, I think I finally made someone cry. That just makes me happy inside because damn, I was trying for a while to get someone to cry...and now I just feel so accomplished. Chris and I are still together, and actually our 8 month aniversary is coming up in a few days. Things are still the same with him, but now its just harder to find time to see him since they make him work immigrant shifts at Radioshack. I feel sorry for him because he has to be at work tomorrow at 5:45am, stupid black friday. But things are still good, and its cool because he gets his braces off next month, and his birth is next month too; so there is lots of stuff to look forward to. So I have to get to bed soon, busy day of cleaning tomorrow before people show up....even though i'm not even sure who's coming. I sent text messages to everyone, but apparently I couldn't really receive them bc my phone was acting all cha-cha mcnuggets about it so I had to switch to an old phone. So we'll just see what happens, even though I don't really have much planned; I just have food planned. Gonna lose a few I guess. Gobbles! Current Mood: excited Current Music: "Water Helen, Water!" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 11th, 2005
1:28 am	Yes Oscar, I'm Still Alive Well its pretty much been forever and a day since i've been online, let alone online long enough to actually post anything. So this is what has been happening as of late: I hang out with Chris in all my spare time, which doesn't seem to be a lot since i'm always working now. Its cool because of the money (I just got a raise, woot) but it sucks because even though its a part time job I still had 78 hours on my last pay check. I do love hanging out with Chris though because I honestly never get tired of being around him, even if there is nothing to do we still find a way to not be bored. It kinda sucks that he has to move back to his dad's house in Oakdale though, since its all because of me. His mom, brother and sister have all decided that they want to move so they're moving to Ohio by august 1st. Since Chris doesn't want to leave me, he's going back to Oakdale so that he doesn't have to move away :) Which really shows how much he cares since I know that he didn't really like living at his dad's house all that much. I know he is sacraficing a lot to just stay around, since I know he's really close with his mom and that means a lot to me. But the whole thing kind of brought up an interesting question that my mom ended up asking me. Which was, if he ended up moving away, would I go with him. It really made me think if I could really move away from all my family and friends (even though I don't see them as much as I use to) and go all the way to Ohio. It was just weird to think about and I didn't really make up my mind if I would do it or not. To move away is a scary thought to me, since i've never even moved out of a house before. I think everyone should just get jobs at the DQ Lounge so i'd be able to see them more, even though I am a hardass at work. Oh yeah, YAY for Eila for getting her trainee sticker taken off already; i'm so proud :) Mostly because I trained her to be a badass like me. We all need to go to rainbow pools sometime, since we haven't been there in forever. Well, its late and I have to be up bright and early tomorrow because Chris and I are going to Santa Cruz for the day. I think i'll buy a camera instead of taking mental pictures. Well best wishes to everyone, since I don't know when i'll be getting online again. Word. Current Mood: pleased Current Music: Marklar (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 9th, 2005
1:11 am	Can't Sleep ( Meh ) (5 Comments |Comment on this)
1:06 am	Yep, we broke up over mario kart. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 8th, 2005
3:16 pm	Thinking Too Hard Makes Me Fart My thumb hurts from too much N64 last night, too much mario kart. I think we played until 4am but it was good times. I got a good car wash yesterday by a mess of 6th graders. It was for a fundraiser but it was funny because the rents had just pulled in about 2 minutes before I had, so all the kids left their car to wash mine. Poor Wang only had about one girl washing him and my car had about 20 kids going at it. It didn't really matter much since it rained last night anyway. Blah. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
2:49 pm	Down south was good times; I'm glad I took Chris cubed along for the ride. It was fun walking through the gap in LB and napping on the beach in SD. Things between Chris cubed and I are good, when we're around each other, when we're apart things seem to turn to crapola. Honestly, if we didn't love each other i'm pretty sure we'd hate each other...if that makes any sense. They should just go ahead and make me a manager at work already, they keep me there long enough as it is. Its good times, most of the time, but yeah I just don't feel like spending all day and all night there. Everyone is coming home soon, woot! Current Mood: blah (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 21st, 2005
5:39 pm	Hey, so here is the game plan for this weekend. Leave Turlock tomorrow around 8ish and make my way over to Long Beach. Stay the night there and then bright and early saturday morning make my way over to San Diego. Stay the night and then be over in Santa Barbara by noon on sunday. Also instead of bringing Jenny, like I was thinking about before, i'm going to bring Crapper along instead. Eila and a coin helped me figure that out. Anycrap, I don't know what we're doing where ever I go but I do know i'll be there in less than 24 hours, woot! Current Mood: giddy (2 Comments |Comment on this)